My Whole Being
by Jenei
Summary: Bella knows something, deep inside her. Will one person help her make it better? NO LONGER A ONESHOT!
1. He's Dead?

A/N: This may be a one shot…

All of a sudden, I knew. I knew what had happened. My heart screamed no, but my mind my soul; my _being _knew it was true.

Edward was dead.

I didn't know what had happened, how and _why _but it was true. The hole in me, it was deeper, jagged. He hadn't only cut me with a knife; he'd gone and twisted it. I almost cried out, but the eyes seeking mine, stopped me, and questioned me.

_Jacob. _

I should have known he would have noticed. It was strange, the way he knew me, so well, like he could read my mind. That thought just twisted the knife, digging deeper. With a deep breathe, I spoke, "He's dead." He looked confused then his face-hardened into an un-readable expression. "The bloodsucker," he spat, "Is _dead_?" I almost cried out, how could he be so cruel? Then he surprised me. He took me in his arms, and held me, stroked my hair, murmuring something, which was supposed to be soothing. All of a sudden the thoughts about Paris, and Romeo never coming back, and Juliet loving Paris enough to want him to be happy came flooding back. It was true. I looked up at him; our eyes met. "Kiss me," I whispered. He trembled, but he was not at all angry. But he leaned down and complied.

A thousand emotions flooded in, the two strongest betrayal and love and want. They battled, and love and want won. I pulled back, and our eyes locked. "I love you Jacob." He smiled and spoke ever so sweetly, "I knew it." Our lips crashed together, as proof of my statement.

A/N: What do you think? Should I continue?


	2. Jose

A/N: this is short, I know! Its supposed to be a one shot, but… I was reading my reviews, and I think I should give you more.

EDWARD POV

"So we meet again," sneered Jose. I stood tall, trying to ignore he had already ripped my arm off. I stared him in the eyes. Neither of us backed down.

Someone was going to die.

Jose and I had been friends, when we were human. He had betrayed me, and now… we were enemies. I had forgiven him. After 100 years, and the person is long gone (or so you thought), that happens. But, after spending a few hours with him, I realized he had been carrying all those angry emotions. I had been a little afraid. He told me his power was similar to Jane's. It caused pain, but his was fire.

When we were children, fire had fascinated him. His power was expected. Jose had been walking in the street late at night after visiting an old herb woman named Melodia. She had brought the news to me right before I got the influenza. She said she watched him turn the corner, and moments later screaming. When she checked, nothing was there except blood. He was claimed dead, no one really knew the whole truth. Jose had hate and rage because of what my father did, and it wasn't even that bad. But, what happened after was. My father fired Jose, and Jose, who was bipolar, was calm for the first few minutes, asking why.

_FLASHBACK_

"_What did I do Mr. Mason? Why are you firing me?" he sat in the wooden chair; his face earnest. Mr. Mason folded his hands on his desk._

"_Look, Jose, you're young. You shouldn't even want the job." Jose got a little angry at that point._

"_But, sir, just because I am young doesn't mean my mother can support herself. With my father dead, we won't sand a chance. I have to work to feed all of them. I gotta care for mother, Jessie, Rachel, and a baby on the way. I don't have time to be young!"_

"_Look, Jose, we are in the business. When I go to make a huge selling deal, I want to bring a professional looking man, who doesn't only look it, but is it. You aren't right for it. I can request you somewhere else, in fact, I have just the place to-"_

"_No thank you, Mr. Mason. Good bye." He stood as to leave, and Mr. Mason stood to follow him out. When he stepped behind Jose, Jose whipped around, and punched Mr. Mason. He kicked him as he fell to the floor and spat on him._

"_No one fires me! I NEED this job!" He threw everything on the desk at him, and went to leave, stepping on his hand, breaking it._

_(EDWARD CONFRONTS JOSE)_

_"Jose! Why did you do that!? My father has a bruise the size of a lamp on his back, a bruise the size of your foot on his stomach, and a shattered hand. He has a concussion!" Talking about it brought up the anger._

"Oh, you Masons! Think you are so great! Well, life is a bh! It's not easy, especially when you don't have money to support your family! Just because you and your family live life cushioned, the rest of us don't!"

_Jose shoved Edward, and he flew back into the wall. With a crack, his arm broke, and began bleeding. That wasn't enough apparently; Jose kept screaming he would get him, and that it was all Edward's fault. The sheriff dragged him to jail. _

_"I will get revenge! My family will die because of you!" Jose screamed. Edward stood, and angrily stormed home._

_2 WEEKS LATER_

_It was midnight, and Edward was asleep. A window closing awoke him. Edward never slept deeply. He followed the sounds of quiet footsteps to the guest room. He hid across the hall, and watched the dark figure sneak towards Edward's father's room. Edward followed, staying hidden. He wasn't too concerned until the moonlight from a window hit a knife, long and sharp._

_The figure ducked into Edward's father's room. When Edward stood in the doorway, the knife was raised high, and his father slept peacefully below. Edward came up behind the figure, and grabbed his neck with one hand, and secured the hand with the knife with his other hand. He pulled the knife out and flung it across the room. It didn't harm anything. He turned the figure around. Jose, Jose was trying to kill his father? Just because he was fired?_

_Jose was arrested and Edward was recognized as a hero. Jose had always been angry with Edward and his family for that._

_(And Jose's family did die. First Jessie passed away, of hunger, and the rest of them because of the Spanish influenza. Edward caught it shortly after.)_

A/N: reviews mean updates!!!!!!! There will probably be one more chapter, but im not sure… ill think about it!


	3. A Good Rep

A/N: this is short, I know

BELLA POV:

I could not decide whether to float and relish in happiness or to mourn. So, I found a way to shut off the thinking. I plunked myself down in Charlie's chair (he was working.) I turned the TV, all the while feeling odd. I thought it was just the fact I never watched TV, so I adjusted myself, throwing my thoughts to the mindless show on.

A few minutes later, there was persistent knocking on the door. I sprang up, and looked around tersely. Sighing, and flatting down my hair, I walked to the door. I swore I heard Emmett's guffaw, but pushed it out of my head. I did not want to think about them. I opened the door to a hopping Alice, an Emmett on the ground laughing, a cool Rosalie, and Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle watching bemusedly. I felt my mouth open and close like a gold fish. Alice stopped hopping, and Emmett stopped laughing at my surprise at the knock on the door. I guess they figured out I wasn't exactly thrilled to see them.

"Bella…?" Alice questioned, my mouth still flapping. Emmett began to laugh quietly, trying to hide it. I shook my head.

"I…just…don't… believe it!" I cried, really loud. Alice, whose ears were at my mouth, winced.

"Sorry… oh! Oh, oh, oh, come in. Sorry, really!" My face turned red, and the rain pouring down outside wasn't helping.

"It's ok." Rosalie said, shocking everyone. I felt my mouth fall open, but I forced myself to speak to mask my surprise,

"Um… care to sit down? I would offer you something but…" I laughed nervously, completely thrown off of why they were here. Oh… Edward.

"Bella honey, come sit… we…. We need to tell you something." Esme said, sitting neatly on Charlie's chair. Carlisle stood behind it, his hands on her shoulders. I sat on the couch across from where Rosalie, Alice, Emmett, and Jasper were.

"Yes?" I asked, wanting to get this over with. Not to be rude, but I wanted to hug my chest and cry.

"Edward's… well… well he's…" Carlisle started.

"Dead." I mumbled, and they turned to stare.

"How did you…?" Jasper asked for them all. I shook my head,

"Even though he didn't love me, he was my whole being. You would know when that dies."

"Actually, we wouldn't," Emmett said, trying to lighten the crushing atmosphere. I laughed feebly, and stood.

"Thanks." I mumbled, and shuffled towards the door.

"Bella?" Alice cried. "Wait, why?" I turned slowly.

"Why what?" I asked, honestly. It was all over now.

"Don't you care? Why are you pushing us away?" her small face was crumpled in a frown, and I wanted to reach out to her. But, I couldn't.

"I do care Alice. But I have been through so much, and I know the easiest way with Edward s to dispose him from your mind. It will be hard. If you are here… everything is ten times harder." I squeezed my eyes shut and opened the door.

"Feel free to take an umbrella." No one picked one up as they filed out the door. Looking back at me, guilt was all over my features, I could tell. Alice began to move back towards me, but Jasper grabbed her arm. They bickered quietly under their breath, but Jasper managed to get Alice in the car. Carlisle jogged back, human speed, and handed me a slip of paper.

"Please, Bella… call us. You have a long life in front of you, but… ours is eternity." He looked sorrowful, and he turned away and walked back to the car.

Edward…. I fell into my memories….

_"__Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. very dark, but there were stars- points of light and reason... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.' _

_His dazzling stare… his tousled hair… his diamond-like reflection… his crooked smile._

This was worse then when he left. I had always been holding on to the fact he would have came back. He might have come back…

"Do you ever think that your life might be easier if you weren't in love with me?"

"No!" I screamed, both to the Cullen's and to Edward. I ran out into the road. "Alice!" I screamed, even though the car had stopped and she was already halfway towards me. She hugged me, and the rain fell down, soaking her and me. The rest of the Cullen's stayed in the car, but drove it back to park it in the driveway. I cried, but it felt like I had endless tears… it could have been the rain…

After our episode in the rain, Alice and I went inside. I showered, and the Cullen's mulled around the house. I invited them to dinner, and Esme accepted for all of them No one complained, but I had to meet a condition.

"Come with us, Bella. Tell your father you will be gone for a month or two." Esme's sweet voice was gentle, but firm. I had no choice. If Charlie said no, all the Cullen's would be on him like –snaps fingers- that! In about an hour of casually talking and catching up (with my tears and some dry sobs) Charlie came home,

"Bella! I'm ho-" Charlie was shocked, but still managing to look angry. I jumped up.

"Dad, dad, dad come into the kitchen with me. Please." He was quickly turning purple, but I hurriedly pushed him into the kitchen.

"Dad… Sit. Please." He sat, sensing something was not right.

"Dad, Edward is… Ed-dwa-ard" I could barely bring myself to voice this whole sentence. "He's… dead." Charlie's anger vanished and he sat there openmouthed.

"Wh-wh-at? How?" I decided to lie to him, more then I normally would.

"He was in a supermarket, and he was buying food for the homeless. When he was at the register, some guy came in and tried to rob the cashier. Edward took a bullet. The guy was deranged!"

Edward had to go down with a good rep.


	4. you must read this

A/N: i am going on hiatus, and for how long, i do not know. i simply have run out of ideas for most of my stories. it may be forever, and i will let you all know if i make a new account.

sorry


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